Archive for the 'Life' Category

13
Aug
12

A NEW BEGINNING.

As most of my friends and followers of this blog know. I post about the stories, thoughts, adventures of my life. And now I am in the process of starting something new. Over the past few months I have been writing about my life and the stroke that I had back in November of last year in a series of blog posts called “FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES.”

Now I am starting a new adventure. I am taking my joy and passion of photography one step further. Over the past two years during my time of unemployment and dealing with the stroke that I had and recovering from the event. I had used photography as a way to release stress, and take my mind off depressive thoughts.

And I must say that it has been a great help with me in lifting my spirits up. And after taking some time to think my life over and as well thinking about what to do next in my life. I have decided to start JPeg Image Photography. A photographic service specializing in portrait and event photography.

Yes… I have decided to start a photography company. I am excited to start this new venture, and I hope that it does go well. I had thought to take my passion for the art of photography and expand on it to the next level.

You can view JPeg Image Photography’s website at.: http://jpegimagephotography.com

JPeg Image Photography will cover the world of photography. And as well post articles on things such as tips and tricks, personal product reviews. And as well give insight and some back story to some of my photography work. And of course it will post and highlight my personal photography.

JPeg Image Photography is a photographic service specializing in portrait and event photography where I plan on working with future clients to help make the special memories of their lives last forever. Whether it be for portraits, headshots, special occasions, or just some time spent in front of the camera creatively; I will help clients capture these special moments. I also plan on specializing on photo documentation of an individuals personal effects and property for insurance purposes for when insurance claims are filed after a crises.

I am planning on accepting clients in Mid-September, if you are interested in booking your free consultation. Or would like to know more about JPeg Image Photography. You can contact JPeg Image Photography via this link.: http://jpegimagephotography.com/contact/

Now some of you reading this might be wondering what is going to happen to “Lu Logic’s Blog?” My answer is the following. “Nothing will happen to the blog. It will still be active and I still plan on making posts to it.”

For people that do have an interest or passion for photography, please feel free to follow my new website.: http://jpegimagephotography.com . And as well feel free to follow the blog portion of JPeg Image Photography. For the latest news, blog post and insights/my thoughts about photography.

You can also follow me on Twitter at.: http://twitter.com/LUIS_CASTRO_NYC

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27
Jul
12

FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. (IT’S ABOUT TIME.)

FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. 

“Where others will not cross the line, the line is where I begin and cross over to start my journey.” 

IT’S ABOUT TIME.:

It has been a while since I have done a “Flatline” blog post, so I guess that I do have some catching up to do. I have been busy on still getting funding for my disability and I have been working on getting a new health plan as well.

I am happy to say that after eight months I finally got approved of my disability money. That will start next month thank goodness. It has been a long struggle to get it. Granted… I am still working on getting my health care.

Oddly enough I still have to fight for that, so the battle still continues. But at lease I will now get monthly funding to help pay the bills and have some form of a life. As well I can now somewhat concentrate on my next photography venture that I hope will be successful.

How do I feel at this point in time now that I finally got my funding approved? “Numb” would be the best way to put it. It’s sort of anti-climatic for lack of a better term. How does a person feel when all that has passed happens to them? I am not sure, but I am glad that I have made it to this point in time.

I have to admit that I do feel somewhat burnt out from the ordeal. But this is just one chapter closing and another one starting. Let’s just see how the next chapter plays out. Once I take care of a few more issues I should feel a little more comfortable with my life and where it’s going. I find it funny how as I started to write this blog post, I had quite a few thoughts that I wanted to share.

But at the moment I just can’t seem to get them typed. Way to many thoughts in my head I guess. I am sure next time I will have lots more to say. But at this point in time my thoughts just seem to be scattered at the moment.

Maybe it’s just burnout? Or shell-shocked? I am not sure… But I am glad that what I have been trying to do (get my funding…) is about to become a reality. Now I can concentrate on my life and making it better. So I guess you can say. “The adventure still goes on.”

Granted this is not the end of the “Flatline Chronicles.” If anything it’s the close of a very long chapter. There will be more flatline posts. Let’s see what happens in the next chapter of my life.

17
Jun
12

THE LU LOGIC’S BLOG DAILY.

As of today I will be using on online media newspaper to supplement my blog.: http://lulogicblog.com This service will be provided by.: http://paper.li Paper.li is a content circulation service. It enables people to publish newspapers based on topics they like and treat their readers to fresh news, daily.

This will be another format for my readers to have that will give the individual reader, more daily access to myself and my blog. It will also highlight subjects such as daily news, online media, arts and entertainment, LGBT, photography, politics, world news, trending topics and much more.

This new online daily newspaper will be called “The Logic of @CastroLuisE.”

This is an online news publication that will be updated daily with all the newest news and information in a “newspaper format.”

The news that is provided to “The Logic of @CastroLuisE Daily” Will be provided from my Twitter stream from major news organizations, and from the many people that I follow. And will include postings and highlights from myself as well.

You can view “The Logic of @CastroLuisE Daily” at.: http://paper.li/LUIS_CASTRO_NYC/1339897910

May everyone enjoy the launch of the newest addition to my blog.

26
May
12

FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. (SIX MONTHS.)

FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. 

“Where others will not cross the line, the line is where I begin and cross over to start my journey.” 

SIX MONTHS.:

Today is May 26, 2012. This date may not mean much to anyone, but this date matters to me. For it has been exactly six months since I have had my stroke. On may 12,2012 a little over two weeks ago I had written a post about my up coming anniversary of the stroke that I had.

You can see the post here.

http://lulogicblog.com/2012/05/09/flatline-the-stroke-chronicles-six-months-and-waiting/

 Within the blog post mentioned above I had shared my thoughts on the upcoming date of the six month anniversary of my stroke. Sounds morbid I know, but it does mean something to be. Feels like it all happened years ago or not even at all that this happened to me, but it did.

“How do I feel?” You might ask? To answer that question I can honestly say… “I don’t know.”

“How does one feel about such an event in one’s life when the moment has not ended?”  My recovery is still going on, and I am only just recently just starting my next round of physical therapy. I have not even taken the time to plan my life for the near future.

Correction… “I have not taken the time to see what could be my options in the near future.” Reason being is that it depresses me, so I try to avoid those thoughts for now. I know that they will have to be address, just not right now I feel.

The old saying of “One step at a time.” Seems to be true for me nowadays. Besides… I try not to go into “Sensory overload.” Besides… We all know that story.

http://lulogicblog.com/2012/03/08/flatline-the-stroke-chronicles-sensory-overload/

I just feel that at this point in my life I just have one to many unknown variables to work with at this time. I could come up with a plan, but it’s so volatile that it all could change in an instant. So I just try to approach things a little differently I guess.

I try to keep busy with my life, funny thing about that is the fact that I am kept busy still trying to get  various social services that I need, since I don’t have a social worker helping me out with all the paperwork that I alone have been processing and submitting.

But when I am not doing paperwork I pretty much try not to think about it all. I still try to be active and justify my activities as “therapy.” Instead of just lying around the apartment, I just try to keep moving. After all its better for the muscles on the right side of my body that have been affected by the stroke.

It’s not a perfect way to get better, but I consider it “better than nothing at all.” For I find my physical therapy to be not enough for me. Thirty minutes at a hospital rehab center once a week is just not enough. Not for me or anyone with my condition for that matter I think.

I feel that I will rise above all this.

I always had that feeling since day one of my stroke. Call it “hope” or “wishful thinking.” But I do think that in good time, I will come out fine from all this. Only time will tell and from my efforts of trying to get better will prove the final outcome of such an event in my life.

I will say this much… “This is one chapter in my life that I do hope ends very soon.” But atlas… That is not the case and the chapter/story goes on. This whole event has changed my thoughts a lot about health, health care, the handicapped and so on. So what is my calling now? What will be my next turn of events with my life?

I am still alive of course, but now that this has happened. Do I plan for my potential death? Or Do I enlighten others, or myself to find the meaning of all this? Maybe I am just reaching out to far. Like as if I am trying to touch the hand of God?

That’s if he (God) exists of course. What if he never existed? If so… Then what am I reaching out for? An answer and the reasoning to all this? And what about all the other of millions of people that have been affected? What are they reaching for? The answer? A new lease on life? Then of course there are those that never survived having a stroke. Have they all died in vain?

Odd but interesting questions I think? Or maybe I just have too much free time on my hands? I can only imagine what the next six months will bring me. I had a plan of my life around this time last year on what I was going to do, but now that has all changed. And I never even thought of a backup plan incase something like this happened. Then again do we ever have a backup plan? It’s almost safe to say “no.”

Then of course I could be wrong about the above mentioned, what do you think? Only time and planning will dictate what will happen to me next and of course any unforeseen circumstances as well can change the direction of the next six months, six days, six minutes of my life.

I am (for feel that I am…) half way to the end of a long journey. I am so ready for the next chapter in my life. In time… I will happen. No rush or worries. For you cannot worry about what may or may not come next in life.

“Just embrace life, keep moving forward.”

One small fact before I end this post. The Date and time of this blog post being premiered online (May 26,2012 at 5:30 p.m.) Was about the exact time I entered into the emergency room of St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital in New York City back in November 26, 2011 at 5:30 p.m.

Exactly six months.

09
May
12

FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. (SIX MONTHS AND WAITING.)

FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. 

“Where others will not cross the line, the line is where I begin and cross over to start my journey.” 

SIX MONTHS AND WAITING.:

As of May 26, 2012 it will be six months since I have had my stroke. What have I been doing for the past six months? I have been dealing with bureaucracy, paperwork, health care delays, insurance issues, job bureaucracy, social workers that don’t give a rats ass about me and my current condition. Medical staff that has a “God Complex.” Arrogance, random people that put on a fake act of sympathy, or can not be bothered to listen. I am stating to feel that people will never understand what I am going through.

And that is just a small portion of a deep, dark world that we never hear about until one falls from the heights of heaven, with no warning or reason as to why this was being done to me. I had fallen on to a planet called “Earth.”

And when I had woken up from that fiery descent and rose from the ashes, I noticed my wings were burned off, bleeding and destroyed. And from then on I was forced to join the masses of thousands of human beings that were also inflicted with pain and suffering.

For life to me before this point was not exactly Heaven. But I was happy, working and getting things done. I was getting my life back together after being unemployed for over a year and a half. And then this happens to me a stroke.

Why did God (If there is such a being…) Do this to me and to others as well?

I have often wondered about this. What is God’s plan? Does he have a plan? Or is he just playing this all by ear and winging it? What is his agenda for me and the rest of the human race?

Or is this all the work of Satan?

Did I need to be striked down?

Is paradise or my concept of it lost to me? Or was I just one of Satan’s little helpers that tried to blend in with the rest of heaven and I was forced to leave?

I will never know the answer, but I often wonder what is next for me. What is my next move? What will I do now? This is all and still is new territory for me. I am still waiting for city, state and federal funding to be approved.

Yes… That is correct I am still waiting for New York state and Federal funding to come to me. Very odd how I rushed to get this all submitted within a timely fashion, but I am still waiting for the approval.

I have spent the past six months scrounging for cash to pay my bills and nearly getting by. How much long does one have to go through this? It’s a miracle that I have managed this far, but I don’t know how long I can keep going?

It’s like being lost at sea during a storm with no idea on where to go, and how to get where you want to be. But I do try to say the lease. Six months of waiting with no end in sight. That is what is feels like at times. I am glad that I am able to wake up every day, it could have been worse. I could have been dead.

But at last I am not that, thank goodness. I am just not ready to leave, not now. But this whole experience is one that I can never forget so easily. And if you never have to experience this let this be a warning on what to expect.

Seriously though… Where do I go for more help? I really have no idea and I have been trying to explore options and keep getting lost in the process. Has the American health care system gotten to a point of just paperwork and bureaucracy?  People that don’t care and so on?

When does the wait end? When will I get my funding and full support that I need? This delay in recovery should not be. But atlas it is. I would feel a whole lot better if I had some form of support. Granted there is family, but they can only do so much and I know at this point I am becoming a burden to them.

So many variables to consider. It just makes my head explode, and at times I fall into a depression that I feel that I just can’t get out of. This is what so many people do not understand because they have not lived through this.

They just shake it off like as if it’s not their problem. We have become a society of needs, wants and selfishness. Self centered, greedy and so on. When I die at my time of death, will I be remembered for who I was, or what I had become as death took me away. I often brood but I have to keep it to myself, for I become wrong for showing people and pointing out how rude they are acting. All of the sudden I am the evil, rude person, and that is so not the case.

I am still me. But I will show you how such a jerk you are, or have become. Am I wrong for correcting you? It seems so in today’s society, or am I the last of a dying breed? I have to keep telling myself that maybe this all happened to me for a reason? But what is that reason? What can happen to me after all this that can make my life better? Will I be happier?

Or is this just the next evolution in my life? Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We are all raised with that quote in mind. Where is my life going now? My liberties I feel have been taken away, and the pursuit of happiness is slowly slipping away from me. That is how I am feeling.

I have been working so much to get my life to where it has been before the stroke, the last thing I want is to lose everything that I worked for.  I have to move forward, I can’t stop, some people might get offended by my actions, but at times I feel that I am left with no choice.

All I just want right now is some support, friendship and help to guide me through all this. That is all that I need, and I don’t feel that I am asking for too much.

23
Apr
12

FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. (WAITING.)

FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. 

“Where others will not cross the line, the line is where I begin and cross over to start my journey.” 

WAITING:


Waiting I feel is the worse part of dealing with a stroke. What I mean by that statement is the following. During the time of recovery one is subjected to submit paperwork, for ones current place of employment. Medical providers, insurance carriers, pay bills and so on.

And you are expected to do all this in a timely fashion.

Granted… I feel at times that there are more hours spent dealing with all the paperwork, bills and pending issues that are used, than in a normal work day.

And of course… I am not getting paid for doing this.

After rushing to get all the needed paperwork submitted on time, one ends up waiting for what seems and feels like a long time for a response. And that is my biggest gripe at the moment. Waiting for funding to get my bills paid and to have some form of cash to use on a daily basis.

Of course I did save for such an event, you know… Just encase I became unemployed or otherwise. Well… since “otherwise” happened to me, I had to use my saved funding.

That was able to hold me over for about three months, but at this point the funding is now depleted. And of course the clock is ticking.

After all we all know that the bill collectors can’t wait for the monthly bills to be paid. So we all do what we can to get by. Such as borrow from friends and family when needed. Of course everyone will get paid back, it’s just a matter of when they will get paid.

Hence once again another countdown clock ticking away.

You see where I am going with this… But all joking aside, money is needed to get by on a regular basis. For as we all know it will lead to more problems down the line if the bills don’t get paid. I often find myself thinking “what if” or “what next?” And of course the “worst case scenario” as well. I do try not to think about it that much. But it does pop into my head from time to time, that I will admit.

I am thankful for the friends that I do have that have given me support during this time, I really owe them a lot after all is said and done with this adventure.

I just have to keep reminding myself that this is just another step in my life and not the end. Hence my quote when I start the flatline chronicles post. “Where others will not cross the line, the line is where I begin and cross over to start my journey.” 

But I do keep moving on, you have to, if not. It’s like death I think. And we all know that we can’t come back from death. I just hate the “unknown.”

Not knowing what is next for me down the line since this is all new territory for me is what bothers me the most. Each day is a new discovery for me. And I say to myself that this well end and a new chapter will be written in my life.

The final outcome to my recovery is all on me, nobody else but me. Others that may be going through this may understand what I am saying, and might agree with me as well. I am open to any feedback and thoughts to this, for one can learn from all this.

Life is a learning experience, an adventure, a new chapter in a book. That is how I see it. But beyond all this and my thoughts, I still have to wait for assistance.

That is what gets me the most… All the waiting that I have to endure. I pray that I don’t have to wait longer.

08
Mar
12

FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. (SENSORY OVERLOAD)

FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. 

“Where others will not cross the line, the line is where I begin and cross over to start my journey.” 

SENSORY OVERLOAD:

Sensory overload (sometimes abbreviated to SO), related to Cognitive load in general, is a condition where one or more of the senses are strained and it becomes difficult to focus on the task at hand. The term is commonly (but not exclusively) used in the context of autistic/spectrum disorders, though it may appear in neurotypical children. It may be necessary for only one sense to be bombarded by stimuli to affect that sense as well as the other senses and the thinking process. The most common type occurs when more than one sense is stimulated. For example, a person might be watching television when someone comes in and asks a question; the watcher might fail to respond because he or she simply does not register it, or realizes the question has been asked but gets confused and doesn’t know whether to answer the question or concentrate on the television.”

*The definition above is from Wikipedia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page

“Before I go on with this post I must say that I am within my complete and fullest mental capacity at time of writing this blog post.”

Now that I had gotten my above disclaimer out-of-the-way I can continue on with what I wanted to talk about. For I did not want any of my friends or followers of my blog to think that I was having some sort of mental breakdown. 🙂

And what I wanted to talk about is I guess is the “sensory overload” of all the paperwork and documentation one has to go through with the medical provider, insurance, ones place of employment and so on. That can be at times feel like a full-time job it’s self.

It’s what one can say is part of the aftermath after having a traumatic medical event that nobody tells you about. Really… Nobody is going to tell you about the loads of paperwork you have to go through. They will tell you what happened to them, they might even tell you about the recovery progress.

Or they might even tell you (or the surviving family member will tell you…) the worse case scenario if the person of subject has passed away. But nobody will tell you about all the paperwork and procedures that you will have to subject yourself with.

Granted there is city/state and local services out their that will help you with the process, but even these agencies get the information or procedure wrong. And with that said, one is left down a path that will take you in the wrong direction.

Matter of fact I had a social worker at the hospital where I was staying at for three weeks, and she really made no effort in helping me with getting services. It felt like as if her main agenda was not to provide me any help with getting services. And even after multiple discussions I had with her, she always seem to make it a point do discourage me from getting services.

The oddest point for me with her was when I asked for the appropriate paperwork to full-out to get such services with these city/state agencies. She mentioned for me that she would get that for me. After a week of not getting any sort of reply I had tracked her down for a follow-up. And asked “Do you have the paperwork  for me that I need to fill out and submit?” She told me. “I will have that for you shortly.”

She got back to me two days later, directed me into an office. Pointed me to a computer, and told me. “You can go online and research that information yourself.” And then walked away.

*”Bitch is that not your job since I am in the hospital recovering from a stroke and temporally paralyzed on the right side of my body from a stroke?!”

Granted… I have improved considerably since my hospital stay and I continue to improve with each day.

Odd but all true. In case you are wondering that person is.

Helen Katz-Golod, LMSW Social Worker for St. Luke’s Roosevelt Hospital located in New York, New York.

Let’s just say… I am giving you all a warning if you ever have to encounter her.

Now I am not being a drama queen when I said the following “Bitch is that not your job since I am in the hospital recovering from a stroke and temporally paralyzed on the right side of my body from a stroke?!”

But lets talk about the later part of the statement above for a moment, just so you understand. “I am in the hospital recovering from a stroke and temporally paralyzed on the right side of my body from a stroke?!”

The definition of a stroke is the following.

“A stroke, also known as a cerebrovascular accident (CVA), is the rapid loss of brain function(s) due to disturbance in the blood supply to the brain. This can be due to ischemia (lack of blood flow) caused by blockage (thrombosis, arterial embolism), or a hemorrhage (leakage of blood). As a result, the affected area of the brain cannot function, which might result in an inability to move one or more limbs on one side of the body, inability to understand or formulate speech, or an inability to see one side of the visual field.”

*This definition above and image below is from Wikipedia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page

The above image is a CT scan of the brain showing a right-hemispheric ischemic stroke (left side of image.) The photo above is NOT my actual brain scanned image, this is only being used as an example. And to give everyone an understanding of a stroke and what exactly it is.

At one point I thought to ask the following question to my twitter followers via my Twitter account at @LUIS_CASTRO_NYC  . The question was the following.

“Question… “What do you do when you are depressed, and need to get out of that mood?” Your answer could be posted on my next blog post.”

The reason I asked this is the simple fact that dealing with such an issue can be a depressing matter. And I actually had gotten the following replies back.

“@MusclebearMike @LUIS_CASTRO_NYC I try to focus on my workouts, getting to-do lists done and reaching out to others via phone calls! it has worked 4 me.”
“@Queer Pig @LUIS_CASTRO_NYC Most people listen to music. Other like to get fucked.”
“@Thaddeus_Prime  @LUIS_CASTRO_NYC When I’m in that mood, I focus my attention to someone else by reaching out. Helping/caring for someone else usually always shifts that mood.”
I have the best followers on Twitter I think. 🙂 You just have to love technology and the Internet!
So overall one can say that there is a feeling of “sensory overload.” When dealing with such an issue,  and it is a lot to all take in, and can make a person feel depressed. But this is part of what one would, and could have to deal with in such an event. I will stay this much…
“You have been warned.”



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