“Where others will not cross the line, the line is where I begin and cross over to start my journey.” 


Waiting I feel is the worse part of dealing with a stroke. What I mean by that statement is the following. During the time of recovery one is subjected to submit paperwork, for ones current place of employment. Medical providers, insurance carriers, pay bills and so on.

And you are expected to do all this in a timely fashion.

Granted… I feel at times that there are more hours spent dealing with all the paperwork, bills and pending issues that are used, than in a normal work day.

And of course… I am not getting paid for doing this.

After rushing to get all the needed paperwork submitted on time, one ends up waiting for what seems and feels like a long time for a response. And that is my biggest gripe at the moment. Waiting for funding to get my bills paid and to have some form of cash to use on a daily basis.

Of course I did save for such an event, you know… Just encase I became unemployed or otherwise. Well… since “otherwise” happened to me, I had to use my saved funding.

That was able to hold me over for about three months, but at this point the funding is now depleted. And of course the clock is ticking.

After all we all know that the bill collectors can’t wait for the monthly bills to be paid. So we all do what we can to get by. Such as borrow from friends and family when needed. Of course everyone will get paid back, it’s just a matter of when they will get paid.

Hence once again another countdown clock ticking away.

You see where I am going with this… But all joking aside, money is needed to get by on a regular basis. For as we all know it will lead to more problems down the line if the bills don’t get paid. I often find myself thinking “what if” or “what next?” And of course the “worst case scenario” as well. I do try not to think about it that much. But it does pop into my head from time to time, that I will admit.

I am thankful for the friends that I do have that have given me support during this time, I really owe them a lot after all is said and done with this adventure.

I just have to keep reminding myself that this is just another step in my life and not the end. Hence my quote when I start the flatline chronicles post. “Where others will not cross the line, the line is where I begin and cross over to start my journey.” 

But I do keep moving on, you have to, if not. It’s like death I think. And we all know that we can’t come back from death. I just hate the “unknown.”

Not knowing what is next for me down the line since this is all new territory for me is what bothers me the most. Each day is a new discovery for me. And I say to myself that this well end and a new chapter will be written in my life.

The final outcome to my recovery is all on me, nobody else but me. Others that may be going through this may understand what I am saying, and might agree with me as well. I am open to any feedback and thoughts to this, for one can learn from all this.

Life is a learning experience, an adventure, a new chapter in a book. That is how I see it. But beyond all this and my thoughts, I still have to wait for assistance.

That is what gets me the most… All the waiting that I have to endure. I pray that I don’t have to wait longer.



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