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FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. (INTRODUCTION)


Flatline… The Stroke Chronicles.

“Where others will not cross the line, the line is where I begin and cross over to start my journey.” — Luis Castro A.K.A Lu Logic

INTRODUCTION:

As my first entry into “Flatline… The Stroke Chronicles.”  Before I start to mention and thank everyone that has help me and proceed to tell my story. I just wanted to give my current state of mind as to how I am currently feeling.

Those feelings are the following.:

Depressed. A feeling of rage and anger. Sadness, feeling useless not being able to contribute to the world. And lost.

But most importantly… I have this feeling that I am no longer the person that I was once originally.

I know that sounds odd, but I truly feel that I am no longer the same person that I once was. I keep saying to myself as if I am talking to another person saying. “You can do this, and move on.”

The following song lyric keeps playing in my head as if I am telling it to the “original me.” That song lyric is the following.

“I won’t let you down. I will not give you up. Gotta have some faith in the sound. It’s the one good thing that I’ve got. I won’t let you down. So please don’t give me up, cause I would really, really love to stick around, oh yeah.”

This is what I am saying to my other self. That “other self” is my body and soul before the stroke ever happened. I don’t plan on giving up, but I find myself at times telling my current body this. “Just keep moving forward.”

The song lyric is from singer George Michael, It’s the opening/starting lyric From the song “Freedom! ’90.”

“I won’t let you down. I will not give you up. Gotta have some faith in the sound. It’s the one good thing that I’ve got. I won’t let you down. So please don’t give me up, cause I would really, really love to stick around, oh yeah.”

The above lyric is what I say/sing to myself every waking moment and every day since the first day I woke up in a hospital bed on that faithful November Sunday morning. November 27, 2011 to be exact. The first full day to the start of my new life.

I guess one might call it a birthday. Actually I do just that. It’s kind of funny actually that the stroke happened exactly one week before my forty-fifth birthday. My birthday was on December 3, 2011. These two dates I will never forget. I just feel that I am a totally different person now.

Like as if I have a vague memory of who I originally was. Is this felling that I am having normal? Honestly I don’t know. Should I know this answer? “I don’t know.”

Maybe this is normal… This feeling. Once again “I don’t know.” Will I ever know? “I don’t know.” That is what scares me the most, the unknown. This is why I must move forward in my life. For I feel that if I stop, my current life stops.

My motto seems to be the following now. Where others will not cross the line, the line is where I begin and cross over to start my journey.”  This odd motto is what keeps me going.

I was after such a very long time just getting my life back together. Then out of nowhere… I was banished from the heights of heaven, with no warning or reason as to why this was being done to me. And had fallen on to a planet called “Earth.”

And when I had woken up from that fiery descent and rose from the ashes, I noticed my wings were burned off, bleeding and destroyed. And from then on I was forced to join the masses of thousands of human beings that were also inflicted with pain and suffering. Have I not suffered enough in my life?

Why did God (If there is such a being…) Do this to me and to others as well?

But I can’t hunt for that answer now. And I don’t plan on doing so. All I know is that I must go forward and move on. I have to move on.

This is what I am feeling now, this is where my mind is at currently. I have so many mixed feelings, but the one true thing that I know is that I have to go on. “Flatline… The Stroke Chronicles.” Will be the story of my journey, my thoughts and most importantly my progress.

May you all continue to read my story as it ventures on.

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